A dream is a funny thing. A dream is why I'm convinced the baby is a girl. Dreams are what Adrian and I sometimes discuss first thing in the morning (particularly after a really vivid or thought-provoking one). While I've been pregnant, my dreams have been as strange as they usually are, but they've been more poignant as well. I've had night terrors at times, and dreams that have expressed what I try to suppress to avoid being the "crazy pregnant lady".
A dream that keeps coming back to me involves cupcakes. Sometimes they're different colors and flavors; sometimes I get to eat them, sometimes I don't. Last night I had a dream that there were several cupcakes to choose from, and I chose a red and a blue one. I remember they weighed a lot too! The blue cupcake got broken and smushed a bit, but when I looked at it again, I said, "Oh well, it still looks delicious!" Someone I don't even know decided to dip their finger into the frosting of the blue cupcake and suddenly it seemed less appetizing. I remember thinking, "At least I still have the red one." Then I took a bite of one of the cupcakes, but now I can't remember which one!
I bet Freud would have a field day with that one. My own interpretation is the same thing I've been stressing over for the last few months. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I have a true gender preference and that, while I already love whatever child I have, I want the baby girl from the dream I had almost a year and a half ago so badly, I worry it might have ruined me for a boy this time around. Then again, the dream might also be interepreted as my understanding that even if I do have a boy this time, there's always the possibility of next time and, once I see the baby, I may feel things turned out alright in the end despite my initial disappointment. I guess I'll just have to wait the 17 days remaining until the next opportunity to find out!
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