At Long Last

    After a crazy semester of just trying to keep up, I've finally found an opportunity to update everyone on our little Cupcake! I've not only added new photos but also added a Videos page. 

    Ayla is now officially 5 months and moving around like crazy. She's been sleeping through the night for months,  is now dealing with teething, and we've gone for a few months without any diaper rash issues. We've also figured out some things along the way...

    Ayla's now on a sleep schedule that's flexible enough to fit in with my crazy schedule. We've managed to make both our crazy work/school schedules work. We've found a friend that will babysit for us so we can have a date night. I've even found an online diaper service that is cheaper than buying diapers at the store and includes wipes! Life is busier than ever and there's no doubt that we have to work hard to make it work but its worth it in the end to know that Ayla is healthy, happy, and thriving. 

    So, check back in with us every now and then and I promise I will too!

The Soapbox

    My one pet peeve when I was pregnant was people trying to give me advice or tell me stories about their pregnancy experiences. Now that I'm on the other side of the issue, I realize that it's hard not to talk about those experiences with others.

    I've had a number of women approach me at school asking how I managed school, pregnancy and a baby, what my labor and delivery was like, etc... Whenever I am asked any of the above, I always try to remember how it felt when I was on the receiving end. Sometimes it helps reign me in; other times, I'm just as bad as the geese I resented when pregnant. Some notable exceptions, I'm proud to say, include: 1) I don't talk about the negatives of pregnancy, 2) I don't try to scare the shit out of women when I talk about labor & delivery, and 3) I talk about considering recovery when making a birthing plan. Still, it's difficult not to feel a bit "preachy" at times. This is especially hard when discussing different baby products. I don't know why it is but I think moms get emotionally involved when they find something that works for them. The difference is understanding that it works miracles for you but may not produce the same effect for all.

    So, even though I've only been a mom for a hot second, here's my rant on the miracle products and ideas in my life:

        1. The Wubbanub. It's a stuffed animal sewn on to am Avent Soothie (otherwise known as a pacifier). It's a simple innovation that has become a lifesaver for us. It weighs down the paci so it stays in longer and it's large enough that it's easier to find. GENIUS!

       2. Triple Paste. Ayla was unfortunate enough to inherit my ultra-sensitive skin, so inevitably, diaper rash has been an issue for her. This stuff is great and we've discovered that if we layer petroleum jelly over the paste it keeps the diaper rash away!

       3. Cloth diapers. Yes, we've used them and yes, I love them! They're a heck of a lot cheaper than disposables, they've helped Ayla's skin heal from diaper rash and it's worth the hassle of extra laundry. When we run low on disposables, we use cloth. I also bought several from China for only a few bucks a piece and found some like-new ones on Craigslist. We've used SunBabydiapers (good for overnight), BabyLand (good for laundry day because they have a tendency to leak but were cheap off eBay), GDiapers and Cocalo PerfectBum diapers (sold at Babies 'R Us and have cloth/biodegradable disposable options which is super convenient), and FancyPants (a gift from a good friend and they're wonderful for at night as well).

        4. Target Sensitive Wipes. These are the best generic wipes I've found and they're so much cheaper than the name brand wipes. Unlike some of the other generic wipes we tried (HEB), they're really soft, not like wet paper. I broke down and bought a tub of the name brand ones but only so I could keep the tub they came in because I know babies love to play with them and put toys in them.

        5. Buying clothing 1-2 sizes up. After having to pack up all of Ayla's newborn outfits only a short two months after she was born, I realized just how quickly she was growing up and out of her clothes. I have since refused to buy the actual size that fits snugly and instead buy one or two sizes up. If I'm going to spend any money on clothes, I want them to last.

        6. Children's resale shops. By far, my favorite stores in the world. These are a great place to find fantastic deals! Clothes are often a fraction of the price that they charge in stores and toys are used but so much cheaper! Kid to Kid  Once Upon a Child

        7. Bath Cozy. This is a very simple idea but it makes life a lot easier. It's basically a thin, animal-shaped terry cloth towel that you dunk in the bath water and lay over the baby so they don't get cold. It transformed bath time from an ordeal to a fun, relaxing time for everyone.

        8. Fisher Price Rock 'n Play. This was given to us for free from a friend but has proven worth its weight in gold. Also a simple invention that simulates a swing, but with fixed bowed legs like a rocking chair. It's comfy for baby but you don't always have to strap them in like in a bouncer because it dips in deep enough that they're not likely to fall out. It's portable, foldable and doesn't take up too much floor space.

        9. Aden & Anais Muslin Swaddles. These are great because they're big enough to wrap around the whole baby and tuck into itself. Unlike the usual receiving blankets that you buy at the store, these actually stay folded like a swaddle despite baby's thrashing. I also prefer them to the swaddle pods and cinch sacks because if you know how to swaddle (which is easy enough with a little practice), then they're quicker too because you don't have to put the baby inside anything. Baby can also break free if he or she gets warm.

       10. Munchkin Steam Sanitizer. This sterilizer is great. A lot of the other sterilizers that we looked at were made especially for that type of bottle. This one, on the other hand, is big enough to fit any type of bottle and/or feeding accessory. We pack this baby to the gills on a daily basis and it fits milk storage bottles, feeding bottles, breast pump accessories, binkies and more! It's also cheaper than a lot of other brands.

       11. Medela Pump In Style Advanced. I bought the backpack from the hospital after I rented their heavy duty version for a month. It's great and the suction is wonderful. It was cheaper than at Target and seemed really convenient. The attacments fit most of the storage bottles that I have. If I had to do it all over again I would get the tote or the messenger bag version though.

       12. Fisher Price Apptivity Monkey. Ayla is still a bit young to truly appreciate this one, but we've still gotten a ton of mileage out of it. This is a great way to allow baby to play with your phone without worrying about it breaking. There's a free app that comes with the toy and it's simple enough that even at 3 1/2 months Ayla figured out that if she keeps touching the screen it will keep playing sounds and changing graphics.

       13. Vtech Rhyme & Discover Book. I bought this at a resale shop to help with tummy time and it has proven well worth the couple of bucks I paid for it. It sings and lights up and is flat making it a great tummy time distraction.

       14. Bright Starts Jungle Gym. This is a great toy for babies that can't yet sit up by themselves. Ayla's teachers at daycare have often commented she's one of the few that reaches for the toys on the jungle gyms and it's a wonderful way to distract baby for minutes or even hours. I've even added other toys with extra links and teethers making it more interesting for Ayla to grab and discover.

    That’s my list so far! I’ll update as we find other things we love!

The Udder Truth

(Pardon the punny title.)
    I was warned by family and friends that breastfeeding would hurt. Then I took a class on breastfeeding and was told that if I was doing things correctly, breastfeeding wouldn't hurt at all. The truth was something in between with shades of grey.

    The unfortunate thing about breastfeeding is that it's impossible to know what your experience will be like without a baby. The important thing to remember is that everyone is new to the process of breastfeeding and that you, the baby and your body will eventually get the hang of it. The good news is that like everthing else, breastfeeding is well worth the effort.

    The oxytocin produced by breastfeeding helped me get back in to my jeans within 2 1/2 weeks of giving birth and my pre-pregnancy weight within a month and a half. I prefer to nurse her if I can and, unlike Adrian, I don't always have to warm up a bottle to feed her. There's less mess and clean up afterwards, and it's a sure way of calming Ayla down in a pinch. Plus, I'm a travelling buffet; always open, and oh so convenient. The benefits of breastfeeding are endless and have proven more than worthwhile but the first month was tough. I set myself a goal and it helped. I told myself that I would commit to breastfeeding for at least three months minimum. At three months, I'd reevaluate and decide whether I wanted to continue, and every three months after that. After several weeks (about 3-4 weeks) of breastfeeding, Adrian and I had figured out a schedule that worked for us, Ayla and I had gotten the hang of it, and I realized that using a breast pump was not only an option, but for me, a necessity and a lifesaver.
    Now, Ayla is officially three months as of yesterday and I'm dealing with a new challenge. I was producing more than enough milk even considering her increased consumption as of a few weeks ago, but within the last few weeks, I've actually started to produce less. Whether it's stress, lack of demand, or just one of those crazy biological things no one can explain, I have produced less milk per day than I was a month ago. Despite my best attempts, I can't seem to get back to the point where I was before. So now, I have to reevaluate not only whether to continue to breastfeed but the role that breastmilk will continue to play in the nutrition choices for Ayla. She's just about old enough to start introducing cereal and there's always supplements to help increase production, but the question now is, Is it still worth it? At least for now, the breast pads, not sleeping on my stomach, painful letdown and engorgement are all still worth the health and financial benefits of breastfeeding, but more than ever I appreciate how and why some women make the choice to stop breastfeeding after a few months. Like so many other things, it's a personal, lifestyle choice and no one can make it except for me.

What They Don't Tell You

    I've always been amazed at the lengths people will go to to impress others. When I was pregnant, and even before, people would tell me all the horror stories of their pregnancy and labor and delivery. For the longest time I though that I too should brace myself for the worst because all I ever heard were terrible things about both pregnancy and labor. Of course, the aftermath was also always something that people mentioned with sarcasm and foreboding. For any first time soon-to-be-moms or anyone out there who's just curious... They're wrong! I won't claim that my experience was the norm, or even that it was one that women should expect but one thing it was not was horrible.

    Morning sickness is just a reality of pregnancy and, for most women, inevitable. There are some women who truly have severe cases; I was lucky enough not to be one of them and I don't expect to be as lucky my second time around. However, for most women, morning sickness is temporary and they are able to at least manage their morning sickness and continue with life. For me, light, continual snacking throughout the day and night did the trick. I bought different types of fruits and mixes by the pound at HEB and made my own trail mix. It was easy to take along in my purse and small enough that it didn't take up room or weigh a ton. I also nixed the horse pill multi-vitamins. I kept gagging on them and when you're already nauseous, that's a dangerous mix. I took gummy vitamins instead that contained all the same ingredients in the same amount and I actually took them because they tasted good.

    Swelling is no joke and one of the things that I did have trouble with during my pregnancy. Though, it's a good excuse to ask for foot rubs and buy "mommy shoes". I still wear the cute little flats I bought to accommodate my expanding feet and slight tweaks to my lifestyle were really helpful. For instance, getting seats in  front of the railing at the movie theater so I could prop my feet up during a long movie and maintaing a low sodium diet. Those things helped but didn't solve the problem completely. The one thing that did finally resolve the issue was giving birth.

    Breastfeeding was a challenge that I wasn't prepared for, but to be honest, I don't think you can. Until you have a baby, it's not really possible to anticipate your experience. The breastfeeding class that we took was helpful, the research I did was informative, the warnings from family and friends helped shape my expectations (even though most weren't welcome or warranted). In the end, it took about a month for Ayla, myself and my body to really get comfortable with the process, but we did. I am drafting a separate post just about my experiences with breastfeeding, so I won't go into ad nauseum detail here but sufficient to say, it wasn't that bad and the benefits FAR outweigh any of the disadvantages.

    Labor and delivery is truly something that is unique to each individual. This is why, now, knowing what I know, I really hate the people who tried to scare me while I was pregnant, claiming all the while it was for my benefit. In the end, my doctor and I agreed to an induction the day after my due date out of concern that if we were to wait any longer, it would increase my chances of having a cesarean. The morning of my daughter's birth, I walked calmly into the hospital, was admitted and found out that I was already having regular contractions and was dilated 2 cm. I didn't even feel the contractions, though I had felt previous pre-term contractions and they definitely put a kink in my humor. At 7:15 I began the Pitocin drip, at 7:30 my doctor broke my water (which really did feel weird and different than I thought it would), around 10:30 I decided it was time for the epidural and because of the excellent nurses I got it around 10:45, by lunch time I was already 5 cm along. My doctor promised me that we would know whether a c-section would be necessary by 5:00. She was right. Ayla Jane was born at 4:37 p.m. I was the first in my generation, out of six prior babies, to have a natural birth. Adrian and I kept celebrating the fact that we broke the c-section cycle. Not that there was any prejudice against it. In fact, we were both prepared for me to have the c-section knowing that it was a real possibility considering my family history. We just felt that it made our experience special or unique somehow; different or separate from the many other girls in our family.

    The epidural was like being on vacation. Once it took effect, I got my sense of humor and energy back with a vengeance. The best part was, I actually enjoyed my labor and delivery! Yes ladies! It's possible! It didn't hurt when they put it in, and of course, I was battling contractions simultaneously, so it was a piece of cake in comparison. It took a few minutes to take effect and several minutes to eliminate the pain but I was still able to feel the pressure from the contractions and control my pushing. What's more, I had the energy, not only to push harder and longer, but to truly enjoy the time during labor and together with my brand new family after Ayla was born. In fact, the nurses and I were having a great time while I was pushing, telling jokes and laughing. I wasn't in any pain and I was so was excited she was almost in my arms It is a time I will never forget and I know would have been irreversibly affected had I been worn out. I think an epidural is a personal choice that all women should consider but seriously research beforehand. I hope that my experience does not persuade others to get one, but that it is illustrative of the possibility that women truly can enjoy their birthing experience.

    Recovery. It's no piece of cake; don't expect it to be. Your body has literally gone to hell and is on its way back. Your experience during recovery is wholly dependent on your birthing experience, so I'll limit my comments regarding my own experience but one thing I have found seems to be universally true: The more difficult the labor and delivery, the longer and more difficult the recovery. I say this only to make the point that, when considering a birth plan or making a decision in the delivery room, it's worthwhile to consider the recovery when making those decisions. Having the type of labor and delivery experience that you consider preferable is important. The bad news: No one can choose the experience they have; you get what you get. There is no normal and so many extenuating circumstances throughout the process to make it more likely than not that at some point you'll stray, if even only in the slightest bit, from your original birth plan. The good news: If you're not "married" to a birthing plan and go with the flow, I'm generally convinced that doctors and nurses truly make decisions in the best interest of both mother and baby. One last thing to consider. Yes, labor and delivery is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but those first days with your baby are as well. Consider that when building your birth plan. You may wish you had considered recovery more after the fact, especially when energy and a sense of humor are so important with a newborn.
    All in all, labor and delivery were not what I was expecting because I was convinced that it would be the most difficult experience of my life when in fact, it was the best. It wasn't all rainbows and sunshine but what wasn't, was more than worth the effort. Ayla is the best thing I've ever done and I can't imagine anything making having her not worthwhile.

  

Motherhood

    Life before and after children is one of the mysteries of life that, no matter how much you prepare yourself or think you know, you have to experience it in order to understand it. The love of a mother for her child is irrational and obsessive; there's nothing about it that can be conveyed in words that would sufficiently prepare or explain it to someone that has never experienced it before. It's surprising how much and how quickly the world is turned upside down (or rightside up, depending on your view of it) once that life is brought into being. The challenge is to keep an even keel when the situation is so extreme.

    Ms. Ayla Jane Sanvictores entered this world at 4:37 P.M. on Wednesday, December 19, 2012 weighing 6 pounds, 2 ounces and measuring 19 inches long. The light of the world shines through her and, yes, the sun shines out of her adorable bottom! From the moment she entered this world, neither my life, nor it's meaning and purpose, have remained the same.
    I used to think of having kids as the death of freedom and independence. While, to a certain extent that's true, what I didn't realize was that freedom and independence just wouldn't be as important once she was born. That's not to say that I've completely changed my character and no longer value either virtue; just that, now, the only thing I value most is being with her and knowing she's alright. Never before has having a one-track mind been more accurate a description of me. It means listening to her breathing at night while I "sleep" and foregoing things like food and potty breaks to make sure that she's as comfortable and satisfied with life as possible.
    The not-so-sunny side of the coin is that motherhood is HARD WORK! I'm the food source, the security blanket and the ultimate watchdog for this precious life and the anxiety, fatigue and fear of what is and what could be have been enough to age me ten years in just a month and a half. It's constant and enduring with no end in sight and no hope of fading. The lack of sleep alone makes it difficult to remain... Diplomatic, may be the best word. The humbling thing is that I have an amazing support system, and even with all my blessings, I can't even imagine what it must be for mothers without a husband or family to help them.
    So, I count my blessings each time I look at my precious daughter and can't believe that such a beautiful thing has come out of me. Stay tuned for more updates on how she changes and amazes as she grows!

Ready or Not...

    Nine months ago, the most wonderful thing happened. I became pregnant. Tomorrow, after nine months of the craziest ride I've ever been on, I will give birth to the biggest dream I ever dared dream. Miss Ayla Jane Sanvictores is scheduled to be compelled into this world.

    After repeated hints from my doctor, we decided that it was prudent to schedule to induce labor the day after my due date to avoid any unnecessary complications caused by the size of the baby. For the last two weeks, Adrian and I have prepared and finally, the day has come!

    I suppose I should want things to happen on their own, but I feel more and more fortunate that I know the exact date and circumstances that all the excitement will begin. Moreover, I won't have to worry about any embarrassing incidents in the Target checkout line or whether my doctor will be in town. Everything will be monitored and controlled. Even better, my doctor broke down the timing and expectations for the progress of the labor tomorrow, so I don't have to worry about whether I'm going to be suffering for hours without need.

    My mother is coming in town to help support Adrian and myself. Adrian and I have spent the day cleaning and preparing and shortly after I log off from posting this I'll be tucking myself in for the last time as a pregnant woman waiting to be a mommy.
    It seems almost surreal that the day is already here and I find it hard to believe that this time tomorrow night I'll be holding my baby girl after dreaming about her for so long! One thing is certain though, we'll be enjoying a wonderful Christmas this year, the first as a real family! So in case I don't have a chance to post again, merry Christmas and happy New Year to everyone! I'll post pictures and more news when I get a chance. Catch you all on the flip side!

"Mommy"

    Today, I was in Hobby Lobby picking up a shelf for the nursery mural (which turned out fantastic by the way) and a little boy walked up to me and called me "mommy". At first I thought he was confused but then he pointed to my tummy and and said "baby". It hit me at that point that in a matter of days I would be someone's mommy!

    I'm officially 9 months pregnant now. There's no more room in my tummy for more baby, but I'm still two weeks away from the big day. Ayla's getting excited and I can hardly wait myself. Adrian  has mentioned things that we still need to get and as he goes through the list, I'm amazed at the things we've already gotten covered. In a matter of a month, we moved in to the house, moved out of the apartment, arranged all the necessary furniture, I finished all my classes and finals and now I have two weeks to get the house in order before our lives change all over again. I feel so incredibly blessed and overwhelmed. I have to give Adrian particular thanks for keeping it together while doing all the heavy lifting and still working his crazy overtime schedule.

    Life is a whirlwind of crazy at this point but I've never been more happy or contented with the minutiae of life. Now that finals are over, the minutiae is the best part because I finally have time to think about it! Maybe it's the season of Christmas and Thanksgiving or just the fact that God has blessed me so wonderfully and completely with a wonderful husband, an amazing family, a not-so-tiny miracle and a life I never could have dreamed of for myself.