What They Don't Tell You

    I've always been amazed at the lengths people will go to to impress others. When I was pregnant, and even before, people would tell me all the horror stories of their pregnancy and labor and delivery. For the longest time I though that I too should brace myself for the worst because all I ever heard were terrible things about both pregnancy and labor. Of course, the aftermath was also always something that people mentioned with sarcasm and foreboding. For any first time soon-to-be-moms or anyone out there who's just curious... They're wrong! I won't claim that my experience was the norm, or even that it was one that women should expect but one thing it was not was horrible.

    Morning sickness is just a reality of pregnancy and, for most women, inevitable. There are some women who truly have severe cases; I was lucky enough not to be one of them and I don't expect to be as lucky my second time around. However, for most women, morning sickness is temporary and they are able to at least manage their morning sickness and continue with life. For me, light, continual snacking throughout the day and night did the trick. I bought different types of fruits and mixes by the pound at HEB and made my own trail mix. It was easy to take along in my purse and small enough that it didn't take up room or weigh a ton. I also nixed the horse pill multi-vitamins. I kept gagging on them and when you're already nauseous, that's a dangerous mix. I took gummy vitamins instead that contained all the same ingredients in the same amount and I actually took them because they tasted good.

    Swelling is no joke and one of the things that I did have trouble with during my pregnancy. Though, it's a good excuse to ask for foot rubs and buy "mommy shoes". I still wear the cute little flats I bought to accommodate my expanding feet and slight tweaks to my lifestyle were really helpful. For instance, getting seats in  front of the railing at the movie theater so I could prop my feet up during a long movie and maintaing a low sodium diet. Those things helped but didn't solve the problem completely. The one thing that did finally resolve the issue was giving birth.

    Breastfeeding was a challenge that I wasn't prepared for, but to be honest, I don't think you can. Until you have a baby, it's not really possible to anticipate your experience. The breastfeeding class that we took was helpful, the research I did was informative, the warnings from family and friends helped shape my expectations (even though most weren't welcome or warranted). In the end, it took about a month for Ayla, myself and my body to really get comfortable with the process, but we did. I am drafting a separate post just about my experiences with breastfeeding, so I won't go into ad nauseum detail here but sufficient to say, it wasn't that bad and the benefits FAR outweigh any of the disadvantages.

    Labor and delivery is truly something that is unique to each individual. This is why, now, knowing what I know, I really hate the people who tried to scare me while I was pregnant, claiming all the while it was for my benefit. In the end, my doctor and I agreed to an induction the day after my due date out of concern that if we were to wait any longer, it would increase my chances of having a cesarean. The morning of my daughter's birth, I walked calmly into the hospital, was admitted and found out that I was already having regular contractions and was dilated 2 cm. I didn't even feel the contractions, though I had felt previous pre-term contractions and they definitely put a kink in my humor. At 7:15 I began the Pitocin drip, at 7:30 my doctor broke my water (which really did feel weird and different than I thought it would), around 10:30 I decided it was time for the epidural and because of the excellent nurses I got it around 10:45, by lunch time I was already 5 cm along. My doctor promised me that we would know whether a c-section would be necessary by 5:00. She was right. Ayla Jane was born at 4:37 p.m. I was the first in my generation, out of six prior babies, to have a natural birth. Adrian and I kept celebrating the fact that we broke the c-section cycle. Not that there was any prejudice against it. In fact, we were both prepared for me to have the c-section knowing that it was a real possibility considering my family history. We just felt that it made our experience special or unique somehow; different or separate from the many other girls in our family.

    The epidural was like being on vacation. Once it took effect, I got my sense of humor and energy back with a vengeance. The best part was, I actually enjoyed my labor and delivery! Yes ladies! It's possible! It didn't hurt when they put it in, and of course, I was battling contractions simultaneously, so it was a piece of cake in comparison. It took a few minutes to take effect and several minutes to eliminate the pain but I was still able to feel the pressure from the contractions and control my pushing. What's more, I had the energy, not only to push harder and longer, but to truly enjoy the time during labor and together with my brand new family after Ayla was born. In fact, the nurses and I were having a great time while I was pushing, telling jokes and laughing. I wasn't in any pain and I was so was excited she was almost in my arms It is a time I will never forget and I know would have been irreversibly affected had I been worn out. I think an epidural is a personal choice that all women should consider but seriously research beforehand. I hope that my experience does not persuade others to get one, but that it is illustrative of the possibility that women truly can enjoy their birthing experience.

    Recovery. It's no piece of cake; don't expect it to be. Your body has literally gone to hell and is on its way back. Your experience during recovery is wholly dependent on your birthing experience, so I'll limit my comments regarding my own experience but one thing I have found seems to be universally true: The more difficult the labor and delivery, the longer and more difficult the recovery. I say this only to make the point that, when considering a birth plan or making a decision in the delivery room, it's worthwhile to consider the recovery when making those decisions. Having the type of labor and delivery experience that you consider preferable is important. The bad news: No one can choose the experience they have; you get what you get. There is no normal and so many extenuating circumstances throughout the process to make it more likely than not that at some point you'll stray, if even only in the slightest bit, from your original birth plan. The good news: If you're not "married" to a birthing plan and go with the flow, I'm generally convinced that doctors and nurses truly make decisions in the best interest of both mother and baby. One last thing to consider. Yes, labor and delivery is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but those first days with your baby are as well. Consider that when building your birth plan. You may wish you had considered recovery more after the fact, especially when energy and a sense of humor are so important with a newborn.
    All in all, labor and delivery were not what I was expecting because I was convinced that it would be the most difficult experience of my life when in fact, it was the best. It wasn't all rainbows and sunshine but what wasn't, was more than worth the effort. Ayla is the best thing I've ever done and I can't imagine anything making having her not worthwhile.

  

Motherhood

    Life before and after children is one of the mysteries of life that, no matter how much you prepare yourself or think you know, you have to experience it in order to understand it. The love of a mother for her child is irrational and obsessive; there's nothing about it that can be conveyed in words that would sufficiently prepare or explain it to someone that has never experienced it before. It's surprising how much and how quickly the world is turned upside down (or rightside up, depending on your view of it) once that life is brought into being. The challenge is to keep an even keel when the situation is so extreme.

    Ms. Ayla Jane Sanvictores entered this world at 4:37 P.M. on Wednesday, December 19, 2012 weighing 6 pounds, 2 ounces and measuring 19 inches long. The light of the world shines through her and, yes, the sun shines out of her adorable bottom! From the moment she entered this world, neither my life, nor it's meaning and purpose, have remained the same.
    I used to think of having kids as the death of freedom and independence. While, to a certain extent that's true, what I didn't realize was that freedom and independence just wouldn't be as important once she was born. That's not to say that I've completely changed my character and no longer value either virtue; just that, now, the only thing I value most is being with her and knowing she's alright. Never before has having a one-track mind been more accurate a description of me. It means listening to her breathing at night while I "sleep" and foregoing things like food and potty breaks to make sure that she's as comfortable and satisfied with life as possible.
    The not-so-sunny side of the coin is that motherhood is HARD WORK! I'm the food source, the security blanket and the ultimate watchdog for this precious life and the anxiety, fatigue and fear of what is and what could be have been enough to age me ten years in just a month and a half. It's constant and enduring with no end in sight and no hope of fading. The lack of sleep alone makes it difficult to remain... Diplomatic, may be the best word. The humbling thing is that I have an amazing support system, and even with all my blessings, I can't even imagine what it must be for mothers without a husband or family to help them.
    So, I count my blessings each time I look at my precious daughter and can't believe that such a beautiful thing has come out of me. Stay tuned for more updates on how she changes and amazes as she grows!